Preamble
During tough times in my life, one of the many meaningful lessons I learned, was the importance of maintaining happy relationships with the people I love,respect and care about. Sometimes in our busy,hectic and demanding lives, we tend to forget this.
According to me, 85% of an individual's happiness comes from happy involvement with other people.Happiness does not happens to us,it happens by us. Cultivating feelings of Happiness results in a self-generating cycle of biological as much as psychological well being. When you share moments with special people,’happy hormones’ flood your system,keeping you healthy.Happiness is something that is generated from within.
So what are the personal communication skills we need to understand and frequently practise, in order to develop a healthy personality and maintain many happy relationships?
1. Accept Responsibility :
“The price of greatness is the responsibility”… Winston Churchill“Responsibility gravitates to the person who can shoulder them.”… Elbert Hubbard”Society is not destroyed by the activities of the rascals, but by the inactivity of good people”…Unknown
2. Show consideration :
Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.
3. Think Win-Win :
4. Choose your words carefully:
The principle is your speaking must be better than silence and theefore, rather be silent.Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way the parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their children’s destiny.
5. Never Criticise, Complain and Condemn
6. Smile and Be Kind :
Smile is the shortest distance between two people.It does not cost you anything.
6. Smile and Be Kind :
Smile is the shortest distance between two people.It does not cost you anything.
7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s behaviour:
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.So when we are interpreting other peoples behavior negatively we just reflecting our own mentality to this situation. In contrast when interpret positively, chances that other people may realize its negativity and change or amend this.
Have a positive mental attitude.Be positive about everything.
Have a positive mental attitude.Be positive about everything.
8. Be a Good Listener :
Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50% communication is complete.
Listen more than you speak.
Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50% communication is complete.
Listen more than you speak.
9. Be Enthusiastic and Daring :
”Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”…. Ralph Waldo Emersion.
“It isn’t that we dare because things are difficult,it is that we don’t dare that they are difficult.”….Seneca
“It isn’t that we dare because things are difficult,it is that we don’t dare that they are difficult.”….Seneca
10. Give honest and sincere Appreciation :
The desire to feel important is one of the gratest craving in most of the human beings and it can be a great motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these positive qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is harmful to the receipient.
11. When you make a mistake, accept it and make it easy to amend:
Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept them immediately and make changes or amend the same.
12. Discuss but don’t argue:
Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the argument, the cost may be more than the worth of victory.An Ignominious victory is a defeat in itself.
13. Don’t Gossip:
Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.
Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.
14. Turn your promises into commitment:
Commitment leads to enduring relationships through thick and thin. It shows in a person's personality and relationship.
Commitment leads to enduring relationships through thick and thin. It shows in a person's personality and relationship.
15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude:
16. Be dependable and practise loyalty:
An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness.Ability without dependability is of no worth.
17. Avoid bearing grudges:
Life is too small to bear grudges.
John F. Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but don’t forget their name.”Means “if a person cheated me once it is his fault, but if he cheats me twice then it is my fault.”Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.
Life is too small to bear grudges.
John F. Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but don’t forget their name.”Means “if a person cheated me once it is his fault, but if he cheats me twice then it is my fault.”Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.
18. Practice Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:
Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than the opposite.
‘Neither fire nor wind,birth or death can erase our good deeds” ..…Lord Buddha
‘Neither fire nor wind,birth or death can erase our good deeds” ..…Lord Buddha
19. Practice Humility and maintain good character:
Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.
20. Be Understanding and Caring :
The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication is also understanding.
Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.
20. Be Understanding and Caring :
The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication is also understanding.
21. Practice courtesy on daily basis :
22. Develop a sense of humour:
Have a sense of humour and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humour makes a person likeable and attractive.
Have a sense of humour and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humour makes a person likeable and attractive.
23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down :
24. To have a friend, be a Friend :
Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stone of all Friendships.
As Saint Tukaram,the great Marathi Saint-Poet of the 17th. Century said “what does the Lotus know of it’s perfume ? The bee enjoys it all.”
As Saint Tukaram,the great Marathi Saint-Poet of the 17th. Century said “what does the Lotus know of it’s perfume ? The bee enjoys it all.”
25. Show Empathy :
Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, “How would I feel if someone treated me that way?”
Tsekung asked,’Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for Life?’
Confucius replied,’It is the word “shu”(reciprocity ); Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you.’….Analects
26. Demonstrate genuine interest.
In our relationships with other people, we have a tendency to get what we want by using an indirect approach, rather than a direct approach. Realise that people are more impressed by you, if you at first demonstrate genuine interest in them. The key to having quality relationships is based upon what you first put into those relationships.
27. Raise the self esteem of others.
Develop your own "Personal Communications Strategy" which strives to make others at work and home feel important. By raising the self-esteem of others, your own self-esteem will rise.
28. Pay attention.
Be attentive when people are talking to you. This means stopping what you are doing, looking straight at the person talking, avoiding distractions and not interrupting. Remember that your 100% attention tells a person that you genuinely value them.
29. Eliminate negative & destructive criticism.
Nothing is more demoralising to adults and children. Start to listen to how you are speaking to the people you care about. The first step towards ceasing destructive criticism of others is to recognise when you are using it. If unsure, ask people if you frequently use criticism on them.
30. Don't argue.
Instead of taking a contrary stance just for the sake of it, start to listen and understand the other person's point of view at work and at home. Like any new habit, this may not be easy at first, but for the sake of the important people and loved ones in your life, force yourself to do it.
31. Say "Thank you" more often.
I am continually amazed at the lack of appreciation shown by people, particularly in business. It takes but a moment to say, yet can leave a lasting positive impression. Start a new "Thank You" habit today. Apply it regularly in your relationships with your children, your spouse or partner, your fellow workers, your boss and even in your letters and e-mails etc.
32. Practice "The Golden Rule."
This rule simply tells us that we should love others as much as we love ourselves.
“Eventually you will come to understand that Love heals everything,and Love is all there is.”…...Gary Zukav
Next time you find yourself in a potentially difficult situation, ask yourself this question: "How would I like to be treated in this situation?"
33. Avoid self-pity.
Sometimes we inwardly feel sorry for ourselves and just want to relieve the stress and strain by "taking it out" on somebody close to us. This situation is a sign of low self-esteem, which can be raised by re-focusing upon your true values and goals. Not knowing them, is a strong indication as to where you should start.
34. Make a commitment.
Be sure in your own mind that you are putting in and openly demonstrating a 100% commitment in your important relationships. If improvement is required, then take the appropriate steps, starting today.
35 You can't change people.
This is so important to understand. Nobody can change another person. Change only emerges from within a willing individual. We must therefore recognise that if we want others to change, then first we need to change ourselves.
Finally, if you wish for happier relationships at work or at home, recognise that the starting point is always "YOU". Self-knowledge is an invaluable personal asset, it will steer you towards successful relationships throughout your life.
36 The Joy of Help
Help others not to prove your magnanimity or as an act of repentance or as an occasion for self satisfaction.
Who says if I do something for others,I am doing it for them?It is for my own peace and satisfaction.Am I not being selfish even there?
Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, “How would I feel if someone treated me that way?”
Tsekung asked,’Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for Life?’
Confucius replied,’It is the word “shu”(reciprocity ); Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you.’….Analects
26. Demonstrate genuine interest.
In our relationships with other people, we have a tendency to get what we want by using an indirect approach, rather than a direct approach. Realise that people are more impressed by you, if you at first demonstrate genuine interest in them. The key to having quality relationships is based upon what you first put into those relationships.
27. Raise the self esteem of others.
Develop your own "Personal Communications Strategy" which strives to make others at work and home feel important. By raising the self-esteem of others, your own self-esteem will rise.
28. Pay attention.
Be attentive when people are talking to you. This means stopping what you are doing, looking straight at the person talking, avoiding distractions and not interrupting. Remember that your 100% attention tells a person that you genuinely value them.
29. Eliminate negative & destructive criticism.
Nothing is more demoralising to adults and children. Start to listen to how you are speaking to the people you care about. The first step towards ceasing destructive criticism of others is to recognise when you are using it. If unsure, ask people if you frequently use criticism on them.
30. Don't argue.
Instead of taking a contrary stance just for the sake of it, start to listen and understand the other person's point of view at work and at home. Like any new habit, this may not be easy at first, but for the sake of the important people and loved ones in your life, force yourself to do it.
31. Say "Thank you" more often.
I am continually amazed at the lack of appreciation shown by people, particularly in business. It takes but a moment to say, yet can leave a lasting positive impression. Start a new "Thank You" habit today. Apply it regularly in your relationships with your children, your spouse or partner, your fellow workers, your boss and even in your letters and e-mails etc.
32. Practice "The Golden Rule."
This rule simply tells us that we should love others as much as we love ourselves.
“Eventually you will come to understand that Love heals everything,and Love is all there is.”…...Gary Zukav
Next time you find yourself in a potentially difficult situation, ask yourself this question: "How would I like to be treated in this situation?"
33. Avoid self-pity.
Sometimes we inwardly feel sorry for ourselves and just want to relieve the stress and strain by "taking it out" on somebody close to us. This situation is a sign of low self-esteem, which can be raised by re-focusing upon your true values and goals. Not knowing them, is a strong indication as to where you should start.
34. Make a commitment.
Be sure in your own mind that you are putting in and openly demonstrating a 100% commitment in your important relationships. If improvement is required, then take the appropriate steps, starting today.
35 You can't change people.
This is so important to understand. Nobody can change another person. Change only emerges from within a willing individual. We must therefore recognise that if we want others to change, then first we need to change ourselves.
Finally, if you wish for happier relationships at work or at home, recognise that the starting point is always "YOU". Self-knowledge is an invaluable personal asset, it will steer you towards successful relationships throughout your life.
36 The Joy of Help
Help others not to prove your magnanimity or as an act of repentance or as an occasion for self satisfaction.
Who says if I do something for others,I am doing it for them?It is for my own peace and satisfaction.Am I not being selfish even there?
37 Maintain good moral Character:
“Wealth stays with us a little moment,if at all,
Only our characters are steadfast,not our Gold.”
……Euripides
38.Have Faith and Live your beliefs
“Faith is like Electricity.You can’t see it,but you can see the Light”……Anonymous
“Live your Beliefs and you can turn the World around.”….Henry David Thoreau.
39. Live in the Present
“I am tomorrow,or some future today,what I establish today.
I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day. “
……James Joyce
40. Keep on improving yourself
“If you won’t be better tomorrow than you were today,then what do you need tomorrow for. “…..Rabbi Nahman of Bratslav
And finally…The Book of your Life..
If you knew you had only One more Day to live,what would you do……??
“Wealth stays with us a little moment,if at all,
Only our characters are steadfast,not our Gold.”
……Euripides
38.Have Faith and Live your beliefs
“Faith is like Electricity.You can’t see it,but you can see the Light”……Anonymous
“Live your Beliefs and you can turn the World around.”….Henry David Thoreau.
39. Live in the Present
“I am tomorrow,or some future today,what I establish today.
I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day. “
……James Joyce
40. Keep on improving yourself
“If you won’t be better tomorrow than you were today,then what do you need tomorrow for. “…..Rabbi Nahman of Bratslav
And finally…The Book of your Life..
If you knew you had only One more Day to live,what would you do……??
Spread happiness …Happiness is simply about saying a heartful “Yes” to all of Life,to more positive emotions,to more engagement,to more meaning and purpose,to more caring relationships.
It,s up to you, how you live Today…as it were your First Day,as if it were the Last….The Only Day in The Book of your Life
