Top 40 Ways to Improve Your Personality and maintain Happy and Enduring Relationships

Preamble
During tough times in my life, one of the many meaningful lessons I learned, was the importance of maintaining happy relationships with the people I love,respect and care about. Sometimes in our busy,hectic and demanding lives, we tend to forget this.
According to me, 85% of an individual's happiness comes from happy involvement with other people.Happiness does not happens to us,it happens by us. Cultivating feelings of Happiness results in a self-generating cycle of biological as much as psychological well being. When you share moments with special people,’happy hormones’ flood your system,keeping you healthy.Happiness is something that is generated from within.
So what are the personal communication skills we need to understand and frequently practise, in order to develop a healthy personality and maintain many happy relationships?

1. Accept Responsibility :
“The price of greatness is the responsibility”… Winston Churchill“Responsibility gravitates to the person who can shoulder them.”… Elbert Hubbard”Society is not destroyed by the activities of the rascals, but by the inactivity of good people”…Unknown
2. Show consideration :
Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.
3. Think Win-Win :
4. Choose your words carefully:

The principle is your speaking must be better than silence and theefore, rather be silent.Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way the parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their children’s destiny.

5. Never Criticise, Complain and Condemn
6. Smile and Be Kind :
Smile is the shortest distance between two people.It does not cost you anything.

7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s behaviour:

We see the world not as it is, but as we are.So when we are interpreting other peoples behavior negatively we just reflecting our own mentality to this situation. In contrast when interpret positively, chances that other people may realize its negativity and change or amend this.
Have a positive mental attitude.Be positive about everything.

8. Be a Good Listener :
Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50% communication is complete.
Listen more than you speak.

9. Be Enthusiastic and Daring :

”Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”…. Ralph Waldo Emersion.
“It isn’t that we dare because things are difficult,it is that we don’t dare that they are difficult.”….Seneca

10. Give honest and sincere Appreciation :

The desire to feel important is one of the gratest craving in most of the human beings and it can be a great motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these positive qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is harmful to the receipient.

11. When you make a mistake, accept it and make it easy to amend:

Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept them immediately and make changes or amend the same.

12. Discuss but don’t argue:

Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the argument, the cost may be more than the worth of victory.An Ignominious victory is a defeat in itself.

13. Don’t Gossip:
Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.

14. Turn your promises into commitment:
Commitment leads to enduring relationships through thick and thin. It shows in a person's personality and relationship.

15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude:

16. Be dependable and practise loyalty:

An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness.Ability without dependability is of no worth.

17. Avoid bearing grudges:
Life is too small to bear grudges.
John F. Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but don’t forget their name.”Means “if a person cheated me once it is his fault, but if he cheats me twice then it is my fault.”Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.

18. Practice Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:

Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than the opposite.
‘Neither fire nor wind,birth or death can erase our good deeds” ..…Lord Buddha

19. Practice Humility and maintain good character:
Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.
20. Be Understanding and Caring :
The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication is also understanding.

21. Practice courtesy on daily basis :

22. Develop a sense of humour:
Have a sense of humour and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humour makes a person likeable and attractive.

23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down :

24. To have a friend, be a Friend :

Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stone of all Friendships.
As Saint Tukaram,the great Marathi Saint-Poet of the 17th. Century said “what does the Lotus know of it’s perfume ? The bee enjoys it all.”

25. Show Empathy :
Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, “How would I feel if someone treated me that way?”
Tsekung asked,’Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for Life?’
Confucius replied,’It is the word “shu”(reciprocity ); Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you.’….Analects
26. Demonstrate genuine interest.
In our relationships with other people, we have a tendency to get what we want by using an indirect approach, rather than a direct approach. Realise that people are more impressed by you, if you at first demonstrate genuine interest in them. The key to having quality relationships is based upon what you first put into those relationships.
27. Raise the self esteem of others.
Develop your own "Personal Communications Strategy" which strives to make others at work and home feel important. By raising the self-esteem of others, your own self-esteem will rise.
28. Pay attention.
Be attentive when people are talking to you. This means stopping what you are doing, looking straight at the person talking, avoiding distractions and not interrupting. Remember that your 100% attention tells a person that you genuinely value them.
29. Eliminate negative & destructive criticism.
Nothing is more demoralising to adults and children. Start to listen to how you are speaking to the people you care about. The first step towards ceasing destructive criticism of others is to recognise when you are using it. If unsure, ask people if you frequently use criticism on them.
30. Don't argue.
Instead of taking a contrary stance just for the sake of it, start to listen and understand the other person's point of view at work and at home. Like any new habit, this may not be easy at first, but for the sake of the important people and loved ones in your life, force yourself to do it.
31. Say "Thank you" more often.
I am continually amazed at the lack of appreciation shown by people, particularly in business. It takes but a moment to say, yet can leave a lasting positive impression. Start a new "Thank You" habit today. Apply it regularly in your relationships with your children, your spouse or partner, your fellow workers, your boss and even in your letters and e-mails etc.
32. Practice "The Golden Rule."
This rule simply tells us that we should love others as much as we love ourselves.
“Eventually you will come to understand that Love heals everything,and Love is all there is.”…...Gary Zukav
Next time you find yourself in a potentially difficult situation, ask yourself this question: "How would I like to be treated in this situation?"
33. Avoid self-pity.
Sometimes we inwardly feel sorry for ourselves and just want to relieve the stress and strain by "taking it out" on somebody close to us. This situation is a sign of low self-esteem, which can be raised by re-focusing upon your true values and goals. Not knowing them, is a strong indication as to where you should start.
34. Make a commitment.
Be sure in your own mind that you are putting in and openly demonstrating a 100% commitment in your important relationships. If improvement is required, then take the appropriate steps, starting today.
35 You can't change people.
This is so important to understand. Nobody can change another person. Change only emerges from within a willing individual. We must therefore recognise that if we want others to change, then first we need to change ourselves.
Finally, if you wish for happier relationships at work or at home, recognise that the starting point is always "YOU". Self-knowledge is an invaluable personal asset, it will steer you towards successful relationships throughout your life.
36 The Joy of Help
Help others not to prove your magnanimity or as an act of repentance or as an occasion for self satisfaction.
Who says if I do something for others,I am doing it for them?It is for my own peace and satisfaction.Am I not being selfish even there?

37 Maintain good moral Character:
“Wealth stays with us a little moment,if at all,
Only our characters are steadfast,not our Gold.”
……Euripides
38.Have Faith and Live your beliefs
“Faith is like Electricity.You can’t see it,but you can see the Light”……Anonymous
“Live your Beliefs and you can turn the World around.”….Henry David Thoreau.
39. Live in the Present
“I am tomorrow,or some future today,what I establish today.
I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day. “
……James Joyce
40. Keep on improving yourself
“If you won’t be better tomorrow than you were today,then what do you need tomorrow for. “…..Rabbi Nahman of Bratslav

And finally…The Book of your Life..

If you knew you had only One more Day to live,what would you do……??

Spread happiness …Happiness is simply about saying a heartful “Yes” to all of Life,to more positive emotions,to more engagement,to more meaning and purpose,to more caring relationships.

It,s up to you, how you live Today…as it were your First Day,as if it were the Last….The Only Day in The Book of your Life

Consumption of Cola drinks,Chocolate and Coffee be avoided??

Cola drinks,Chocolate and Coffee contain Caffeine.

Learn more from the following.................

Caffeine-where is it derived from ?
Caffeine can be derived from the coffee bean, from the tea leaf, from the guarana seed, and from the kola nut, as well as many other plant sources. There is, however, no such thing as a caffeine plant, nor a specific part of any plant that caffeine is found most in. Some plants have it mostly in their leaves, where it is used as a natural defence to paralyse insects, and some use it in the fruit and seeds, and therefore these portions of the plants are theones where the caffeine concentration will be the highest.
Caffeine is found naturally in coffee, tea, and chocolate. Colas and some other soft drinks contain it. Caffeine also comes in tablet and capsule forms and can be bought without a prescription. Some pain relievers, medicines for migraine headaches, and antihistamines also contain caffeine

About the Effects of Caffeine
Caffeine is everywhere in our society. It is in our most popular beverages, our medications, and even in our desserts. The vast majority of people consume caffeine in some form on a daily basis. Caffeine has effects both good and bad. In small quantities it is considered a safe stimulant. In large quantities it can make a person sick. Abuse of caffeine over long periods of time can lead to severe health problems and even death.
History
1. Caffeine was consumed by people in prehistoric times. They realized they became more alert when they chewed or ate certain beans and leaves. Later people realized they could get that alert feeling from caffeine much more quickly by brewing the beans and leaves in hot water. Ancient civilizations in China drank tea. Ancient civilizations of Persia and Egypt drank coffee. Ancient Mayans brewed cocoa. The use of caffeinated drinks spread throughout the world. In the early 20th century, Coca Cola became popular. This start the era of the caffeinated soft drink. Caffeine is now one of the most widely consumed drugs in the world.
Type
2. The most obvious way to consume caffeine is by drinking coffee. A 5-ounce cup of regular coffee has about 100 mg of caffeine. A cup of tea has about 50 mg of caffeine. A 12-ounce soft drink ranges from 34 mg in a Coca Cola to 55 mg in a Mountain Dew. Energy drinks advertise their caffeine content to young consumers who think more caffeine is better. An 8.2-ounce Red Bull has 80 mg of caffeine, while a 16-ounce Pro v has 160 mg. There is also caffeine in chocolate and cocoa, but it is small compared to other caffeinated drinks. Milk chocolate has 6 mg of caffeine in a 1-ounce bar, dark chocolate 20 mg and hot cocoa 4 mg for a 5-ounce cup. Many over-the-counter medications contain caffeine. A cold tablet has about 30 mg of caffeine, while an Excedrin Extra Strength has 65 mg. Caffeine tablets contain the strongest concentration of the drug. A Vivarin tablet contains 200 mg of caffeine.
The Facts
3. Caffeine is a stimulant. It affects the central nervous system making people who consume it more alert and energetic. It is also known to make people feel better and improve their mood. Caffeine increases blood flow in the brain, so it is often used to help people stay awake or concentrate. In small amounts, caffeine is considered harmless. In large amounts, it can cause irritability, nervousness and insomnia. Caffeine is not stored in the body but takes several hours to metabolize. People can feel caffeine's effects for up to 6 hours after consuming it.
Benefits
4. Moderate caffeine use of between 200 mg and 300 mg is considered safe. For a short time it can make people more productive and aware. Studies show that people can increase their physical and intellectual workload with the help of caffeine. Many athletes use caffeine to get more out of their workouts, while ordinary people use it to help them wake up in the morning. Caffeine is used in the treatment of certain breathing disorders and premature infants. People also like caffeine. The legal stimulant is used daily by about 90 percent of the adults in the United States.
Risk Factors
5. It does not take long to build a tolerance to caffeine. More and more of the drug is then needed to achieve the same amount of alertness. Caffeine addiction is common. People who consume large amounts of caffeine on a regular basis suffer withdrawal symptoms like headaches and irritability when they don't take caffeine. Some doctors argue that caffeine can increase a woman's chances of having a miscarriage. A chronic addiction to caffeine is called "caffeinism." This is manifested by a physical and psychological dependence on caffeine and severe physical problems ranging from heartbeat irregularities to difficulty breathing. Caffeine is associated with stomach ulcers and acid reflux disease. Deaths have even been associated with extreme caffeine use.

Does Coffee Increase Metabolic Rate?

Caffeine
1. The caffeine in coffee is a strong drug that carries many side effects. Caffeine is highly addictive and causes severe withdrawal symptoms when use is stopped. The body absorbs caffeine and routes it through the bloodstream very quickly. It remains in the body from three to seven hours. High concentrations of coffee can make the heart beat faster and it also constricts the veins surrounding the brain. Caffeine also works as a diuretic because of the speed at which it's processed through the liver.
Metabolism
2. As it travels throughout the body, caffeine increases metabolism by about 10 percent. Women metabolize caffeine about 25 percent faster than men. Metabolic rate remains highest during the first three hours following consumption of caffeine. Plasma, insulin and carbohydrate absorption remain level during this period, while fatty acid levels rise, resulting in increased fat oxidation. Caffeine has been used as a weight-loss mechanism because of this phenomenon, but must be tempered by the side effects. Studies show that humans can tolerate up to about eight grams of caffeine or five to six cups of coffee a day without any side effects. Toxic levels begin to create serious complications after more then 10 grams of caffeine.
Effects
Caffeine is a stimulant that increases heart rate and mental acuity. While the blood pumps faster, the metabolic rate increases. The central nervous system is primarily affected by caffeine consumption and causes the body to burn more calories . For many people, caffeine consumption interrupts sleep, causes nervousness and stomach problems. The acid from coffee can cause reflux and ulcers in the stomach if taken continuously on an empty stomach. Coffee drinking also has a thermogenic effect on the body because it takes more calories to burn and metabolize the ingredients than are inherent in the substance. Coffee in itself has no calories and therefore is a highly thermogenic product.

Caffeine - good or bad?
Caffeine is part of modern life. But are caffeine-rich drinks and foods harmful or not?
Until quite recently, most research studies on caffeine warned that caffeine intake was harmful and for years high levels of caffeine in the diets of sportsmen and women were banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA).
However, recently a number of studies have shown that caffeine in moderate doses may be beneficial to health. As a result, the WADA lifted its ban on caffeine as a performance-enhancing drug in sport in 2004.
What do we know at the moment about caffeine and its effects on health, sport and slimming?
What is caffeine?
Caffeine is a member of the family of chemicals that are called methyl xanthines. It is variously classified as a stimulant, an addictive substance, a performance-enhancing drug and a slimming aid.
Sources of caffeine
Caffeine is found in many drinks, foods and medications. Examples include coffee, tea, cola drinks, the new generation energy drinks such as Red Bull, chocolate, and many over-the-counter and prescription medications.
Most headache pills, pain pills, many cough remedies and most slimming pills also contain caffeine.
Caffeine content of foods and drinks
A recent edition of FoodInfo, the Newsletter of the International Food Information Service published in June of this year, featured the following table of the typical caffeine content of foods and beverages:
Food or Beverage -Typical caffeine content
1 mug of instant coffee 100mg
1 cup of brewed coffee 100mg
1 cup of instant coffee 75mg
1 cup of tea 50mg
1 can of cola less than 40mg
1 can of caffeine-containing "energy" drink 80mg
1 chocolate bar (50g) less than 50mg
1 typical headache tablet* 50mg
(Adapted from: "Focus on caffeine. FoodInfo, June 2006, p. 7) * Painkillers selected at random
Side effects of caffeine

1. Caffeine is a stimulant that can cause the following side effects:
rapid, irregular heartbeats and palpitations
restlessness, nervousness and irritability
tremors (the shakes)
headache
abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhoea
diuresis (increased urination)
2.Another negative effect of caffeine is its potential for addiction. We all know people who cannot function without their caffeine fix and many individuals are clearly addicted to tea, coffee, cola drinks and chocolate.
3.Caffeine also increases blood pressure, even in healthy individuals, but particularly in the elderly. Persons who already suffer from high blood pressure may find that ingesting large quantities of caffeine pushes their blood pressure up to unacceptable levels.
4.Excessive intakes of caffeine contribute to osteoporosis and may interact negatively with prescription medications.
5.Research indicates that women who ingest excessive quantities of caffeine, do not conceive as fast as women who drink moderate quantities of this stimulant.
The birth weight of babies born to pregnant women who drink or eat too much caffeine may be low, which exposes the newborn to a number of risks.
In addition, caffeine passes into breast milk and can transfer all the negative effects listed above to the infant. So, if your baby is irritable, restless or exhibits any of the other side effects of caffeine excess, this may be due to you, the mother, ingesting too much caffeine.
6.Positive effects of caffeine Recent research indicates that caffeine intake can reduce the risk of developing Parkinsons disease and possibly also liver cancer. There are indications that caffeine may decrease liver damage.
7.Another positive effect is that caffeine can increase the resting metabolic rate (RMR) in lean and obese people, which is why it is often included in slimming pills and products, including herbal diet pills .
8.Caffeine is known to enhance athletic performance, reduce fatigue and improve recovery in athletes .
Because of its stimulant properties, caffeine can also help people stay awake and be more alert in situations where they are required to concentrate.
How much caffeine should we have?

Experts agree that moderate intakes of caffeine should not be harmful to the general population.
The UK Food Standards Agency has, for example, recommended that the general population and pregnant women should not have more than 300mg of caffeine a day (e.g. four cups of instant coffee or six cups of regular tea). This is probably a reasonable recommendation which we can also apply in India.
Just keep in mind when you calculate your daily caffeine intake to include caffeine arising from any medications you may be taking, as having three headache pills would contribute 150 mg of caffeine to your intake.
Present knowledge indicates that moderation in caffeine consumption seems to be the sensible path to follow.

Note:

Details for this write up have been collected from various sources. Consumers are requested to read and decide for themselves whether consumption of Cola drinks ,Chocolate and Coffee should be totally avoided or their intake moderated depending on the condition.

Cherish these memories…

First 10 Encounters that you would fondly remember and cherish...............

*First salary cheque

*First girl friend

*First Boss

*First time you were naughty and broke the rules

*Your first best friend

*First holiday with family

*First trip abroad

*First mobike

*First baby

*First day in College

Memories of these encounters will linger on and leave a lasting and all -encompassing impression.

Cherish these memories.....these shall never fade away.

Top 10 Ways to Improve Your Personality and Relationships

During tough times in my life, one of the many meaningful lessons I learned, was the importance of maintaining happy relationships with the people I love and care about. Sometimes in our busy modern lives, we tend to forget this.
As the great teacher Brian Tracy says "85% of an individual's happiness comes from happy involvement with other people." So what are some of the personal communication skills we need to understand and frequently practice, in order to develop a healthy personality and maintain many happy relationships?
1. Practice indirect effort.
In our relationships with other people, we have a tendency to get what we want by using an indirect approach, rather than a direct approach. Realise that people are more impressed by you, if you at first demonstrate genuine interest in them. The key to having quality relationships is based upon what you first put into those relationships.
2. Raise the self esteem of others.
Develop your own "Personal Communications Strategy" which strives to make others at work and home feel important. By raising the self-esteem of others, your own self-esteem will rise.
3. Pay attention.
Be attentive when people are talking to you. This means stopping what you are doing, looking straight at the person talking, avoiding distractions and not interrupting. Remember that your 100% attention tells a person that you genuinely value them.
4. Eliminate negative destructive criticism.
Nothing is more demoralising to adults and children. Start to listen to how you are speaking to the people you care about. The first step towards ceasing destructive criticism of others is to recognise when you are using it. If unsure, ask people if you frequently use criticism on them.
5. Don't argue.
Instead of taking a contrary stance just for the sake of it, start to listen and understand the other person's point of view at work and at home. Like any new habit, this may not be easy at first, but for the sake of the important people in your life, force yourself to do it.
6. Say "Thank you" more often.
I am continually amazed at the lack of appreciation shown by people, particularly in business. It takes but a moment to say, yet can leave a lasting positive impression. Start a new "Thank You" habit today. Apply it regularly in your relationships with your children, your spouse or partner, your fellow workers, your boss and even in your letters and e-mails etc.
7. Practice "The Golden Rule."
This rule simply tells us that we should love others as much as we love ourselves. Next time you find yourself in a potentially difficult situation, ask yourself this question: "How would I like to be treated in this situation?"
8. Avoid self-pity.
Sometimes we inwardly feel sorry for ourselves and just want to relieve the stress and strain by "taking it out" on somebody close to us. This situation is a sign of low self-esteem, which can be raised by re-focusing upon your true values and goals. Not knowing them, is a strong indication as to where you should start.
9. Make a commitment.
Be sure in your own mind that you are putting in and openly demonstrating a 100% commitment in your important relationships. If improvement is required, then take the appropriate steps, starting today.
10. You can't change people.
This is so important to understand. Nobody can change another person. Change only emerges from within a willing individual. We must therefore recognise that if we want others to change, then first we need to change.
Finally, if you wish for happier relationships at work or at home, recognise that the starting point is always "YOU". Self-knowledge is an invaluable personal asset, it will steer you towards successful relationships throughout your life.

Mahatma Gandhi Quotes

*An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
*Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
*I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
*The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
*Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action.
*The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
*A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
*Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.
*Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed.
*It is the quality of our work which will please God and not the quantity.
*Rights that do not flow from duty well performed are not worth having.
*The history of the world is full of men who rose to leadership, by sheer force of self-confidence, bravery and tenacity.
*You may think your actions are meaningless and that they won't help, but that is no excuse, you must still act.
*Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
*No culture can live, if it attempts to be exclusive. Mahatma GandhiHonest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
*The greater our innocence, the greater our strength and the swifter our victory.
*Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.
* When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.
*The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
*I know nothing of the science of astrology and I consider it to be a science, if it is a science, of doubtful value, to be severely left alone by those who have any faith in Providence.
*Action expresses priorities. Mahatma GandhiIntolerance is itself a form of violence and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit. Mahatma GandhiIntolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
*Personally, I hold that a man, who deliberately and intelligently takes a pledge and then breaks it, forfeits his manhood.
*Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation.
*Men say I am a saint losing myself in politics. The fact is that I am a politician trying my hardest to be a saint.
*Surely conversion is a matter between man and his Maker who alone knows his creatures' hearts. A conversion without a clean heart is, in my opinion, a denial of God and Religion. Conversion without cleanliness of heart can only be a matter of sorrow, not joy, to a godly person.
*There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.
*There are limits to self-indulgence, none to restraint.
*Restraint never ruins one's health. What ruins it is not restraint but outward suppression. A really self-restrained person grows every day from strength to strength and from peace to more peace. The very first step in self-restraint is the restraint of thoughts.